Earning It

When I first announced I'd be leaving behind my life of teaching to pursue my dream of flying airplane, the reactions from friends and family were mixed. Some celebrated with me and encouraged me. Others dispensed words of wisdom that proved invaluable. Still others did everything short of barricading me inside my house and force me to take up knitting. But the one that sticks with me today is that of my buddy Luke, who took it upon himself to bestow the nickname of 'Captain' upon me. For the next few months, whether we were playing basketball or plowing through a plate of nachos, everything he said to me was prefaced with that moniker. For example, "Uh oh, the Captain is about to fire up the lawnmower!" Or, "Man, the Captain is destroying that apple crisp!" You know, random stuff like that. Naturally, I ate it up. Who doesn't want to be called Captain? Even if you're just a pizza delivery man, it's a good nickname. For me, it was pure gold. Trouble is, I hadn't even stepped foot in an aircraft yet. I had no idea what I was getting into. Giving me that title was more out of place than the Teletubbies being arrested for cocaine possession.

My college basketball coach had a penchant for motivational speeches. One of his favorites was a spinoff of the Marine's slogan 'Earned, Never Given.' Throughout the grueling pre-season conditioning sessions he'd flash a cheesy smile at us and chant those words at us, over and over again. With sweat pouring over every fiber of our bodies, he'd remind us that nothing was ever given to us, that we'd obtain every morsel of success by working hard and earning it. And it was awful. So many days I wanted to quit, my teammates wanted to quit-it was just too hard. But somehow, somewhere inside us, we dug deep to find something greater. After a few weeks of strenuous training, the season finally began. We had earned it.

Those two snapshots of my life illustrate perfectly what I'm experiencing now. So much of this blog has been about facing challenges, leaping hurdles, rising up over mountains, and overcoming adversity in my relentless pursuit of my dream career. For those who've been reading since day one, you'll testify to the fact that it's never been easy, that I've never let my guard down or taken a vacation from learning. I want this, and as evidenced by the turns my life has taken over the past few months, I'm pretty much on the record as being willing to do whatever it takes. The battle of earning it continues for me, only the obstacles in front of me bear a different facing. It's no longer the prospect of another checkride for me, but rather that burden is now placed upon my students. They're the ones going through the same meatgrinder that I just came out of a few months ago, and surprisingly, I'm just as nervous as they are on checkride day. The challenge here lies in preparing them the way I was prepared, to give them my best even though it might not directly affect my livelihood. It's about staying disciplined in the little things, even though it might be the 3rd or even 4th time in a given day that I'm doing something. And I don't mind: flight instructing so far has been remarkably enjoyable. I fly most everyday and am compensated for it. It's exactly what I want to do. But it definitely isn't easy, and even with the unquenching love I have for flying airplanes, the mental toll of always trying to stay 2-3 steps ahead of a novice student pilot is exhausting. There has already been a few moments of sheer terror in the airplane, each of which sprouts a few more grey hairs on my head and causes me to wonder if I'll actually survive a few years of flight instructing. It all comes with the territory, and I love it, but I am definitely earning it.

As always, there are things I cannot control, like the weather, or my students' attitudes. It's frustrating knowing that for every day I do not fly, I remain that much further away from reaching my goals, like that coveted ranking of 'Captain.' I'll get there someday, but until then, I'm going to enjoy the ride and be grateful I've made it this far. Patience and contentment will become my good friends. Because if I'm always striving to be somewhere, I'll never really arrive anywhere.

One last story for the kids: this past week presented me with an opportunity to oversee what's known as a 'Discovery Flight.' Geared towards inspiring people to sign up for a pilot training program, it's usually the first time someone's flown an aircraft. I perform the takeoff and landing, and monitor the safety of the flight from my right seat position, but for the other thirty minutes or so, the person shelling out the $95 gets to manipulate the controls and play pilot for a day. More often than not, people return from these adventures and instantly whip out the credit card for more flying-it's like a drug. I tried my best to show the prospective flier a good time, vectoring him around some of the more scenic areas and minimizing the amount of time I had to grab the yoke for safety's sake. He maintained a smile for most of the ride, and seemed ecstatic at the prospect of becoming a pilot. Things were going well. But towards the end, he began to sweat profusely, and the Hardee's Thickburgers that he had consumed just moments before departing quickly began a digestive rebellion, and only a mile from the runway all hell broke loose inside his stomach, and soon I was faced with a smelly cockpit, a very uncomfortable passenger, and one miserable mess. Flying might not be for everyone. You can be most definitely assured, however, that I earned this hour of paid flight time, and on this day, for once, I didn't want to be Captain.